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Saturday, April 18, 2009

Classic, "return to smoking" triggers

This is day 7 of my reversion to being a non-smoker.

Today I got an email from someone very dear to me, misunderstanding completely my enthusiastic mail to her that I was once again a non-smoker. She thought that I wanted to provide proof to her. I just wanted to share with her the process.

She also cut off communication on an unrelated matter. I call it a misunderstanding, she'll probably call it flirting, but the issue is, cutting off communication with someone I hold dear is a trigger to light up.

I won't deny that I have felt, at about intervals of 10 minutes, the desire to smoke, ever since I read her mail.

This was something I had not anticipated. I had anticipated the linkage between smoking and drinking - a drink is usually accompanied by a smoke. I had anticipated the linkage between an event and a smoke. Events, being high-energy demanding, usually lead to chain-smoking on the part of the event provider.

I managed the drinking without smoking, I managed the event without smoking.

From my blindside hit the most important woman in my life, saying it's off.

NOW I can see how tough it is. I've been through the usual attempts to quit, and I usually give in at the first opportunity, since I know I'm going back to smoking under those attempts anyway.

However, here's a situation where I definitely dislike the taste of the smoke but circumstances draw me to that forbidden puff.

Will I survive the night?

This was something I had not anticipated. I'll let you know.

Deepak

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