The Sisters Morris Go Shopping

“They’ve given me the wrong bra!” said Sister1.

“Yippee!” said Sister3.

“Oh no,” groaned the two brothers Morris.

“What’s wrong?” asked a bewildered brother-in-law, husband of Sister2 and, before the brothers Morris could warn him, proceeded to add, “Shall I take you back to the store?”

The sisters were together after a long time. Meeting up for Christmas, Sister1 had come down from Mumbai and Sister2 up from Vizhagapatnam, to meet Sister3, actually a cousin, also a Morris and more deadly than the sisters 1 and 2. The brothers Morris, actually cousins, stayed out of their way as much as we could. Why will become apparent in a minute.

Foolishly ignoring our warning looks, brother-in-law piled the sisters into the car and took them back to the store. “It is my duty to safeguard the ladies,” said the naval officer, self-same brother-in-law.

“Wonder who’s going to safeguard HIM” we muttered under our breaths.

Two hours later a haggard brother-in-law brought the sisters back, headed for the kitchen and decimated two bottles of beer without the benefit of a glass.

Although he was extremely reluctant, or perhaps unable, to talk we finally dragged the story out of him.

Apparently the sisters had marched into the store, right up to the cash counter and, disregarding the sign that said, “For reasons of hygiene, lingerie will not be exchanged”, demanded that the bra be exchanged.

“Madam, we don’t – “ began the cashier.

“Then start now” retorted Sister1, “your salesgirl has packed a nursing bra and I won’t need one for a few years at least.”

As this went on for a little while, a salesgirl volunteered that she had overheard Sister1 ask for that bra.

“Do you think,” thundered Sister1, “I would ask for the wrong bra just so I could come back and look at your miserable faces? And besides,” she continued, fixing the salesgirl with a baleful gaze, “is it store policy for salespersons to eavesdrop on customers?”

At this point, with the word “bra” being flung all around, brother-in-law had begun to edge towards the door, accompanied by sundry husbands whose wives were pitching in to either aid the sisters Morris or listen sympathetically to almost-wailing salesgirls and cashier.

Around this time the manager came out, the security guard pounced on brother-in-law, taking him to be a shoplifter, the sisters Morris were in full flow and brother-in-law swears he saw someone with a badge that bore the word “Press”.

He managed to convince the guard that he was no shoplifter, walked out of the store and suddenly felt his legs give way. He sat right there, on the pavement, until the triumphant sisters emerged.

Chattering away and unconcerned about the wave of human faces that followed them, discussing the merits and demerits of the case, the sisters piled into the car and demanded to be taken home.

“She’s usually so quiet at home,” said a bewildered brother-in-law.

“That,” said the brothers Morris, “is always the case with each sister until they get together. Then it’s a case of the whole being always greater than the constituent elements.”