Meme, me me me

Another Meme. I'll try to be un-nasty with this one. Here goes:

1) My mother once: threatened to have me committed to a mental asylum

2) Never in my life: have I said "never"

3) When I was five: I proved to my father that if he didn't step up, I'd do things on my own. He was late in picking me up from school, so I simply walked back home.

4) High School was/is: A good way to strengthen my abs and work on innovative Judo throws. What can I say? I was in a tough school.

5) I will never forget: Neeta. Which Neeta? Ah, that shall remain a secret :-)

6) I once met: Someone I met again. C'mon, what kind of question is this? I once met S.P. Hinduja. Does that make any sense to anyone who has no clue who S. P. Hinduja is? (I shook his hand too)

7) There's this person I know who: used to slit the skin of her wrists and forearms. She was looking for intimacy, poor thing, and used the slit technique to get sex. She never could figure out that the two can be mutually exclusive.

8) Once, at a bar: I made a prostitute cry by singing her favourite song.

9) By noon I'm usually: awake

10) Last night I: realised I have no concept of "night", just awake and asleep

11) If I only had: sense

12) Next time I go to church/temple: I'll sing in the choir and still find a way to show off

13) Terri Schiavo: died. so will I. and you

14) I like: what most people don't like. and some things they like.

15) When I turn my head left, I see: stars. I have arthritis

16) When I turn my head right, I see: look at my answer to #15 and save me the pain of turning my head, will ya?

17) You know I'm lying when: You kidding? I'm an actor. You'll never know when I'm lying and when I'm truthing

18) In grade school: I presume there are pupils. Stop tagging me with US-centric memes

19) If I was a character written by Shakespeare: I'd probably tell him he got the grammar wrong. "If I WERE a character..."

20) By this time next year I: shall have many more blog posts

21) A better name for me would be: one that hasn't yet been pronounced

22) I have a hard time understanding: the word "hard"

23) If I ever go back to school I'll: whack those blighters who are trying to make life difficult for me. I passed out from a very tough school. It's still a very tough school.

24) You know I like you if: you exist. and your surname isn't jpg

25) If I won an award, the first person/ people I'd thank would be: You have to THANK people if YOU win?

26) I hope that: You haven't stopped reading by now. I'm a glutton for people reading what I write

27) Take my advice: ignore any advice I give

28) My ideal breakfast is: lunch

29) A song I love, but do not have is: a song I'd love to have

30) If you visit my hometown, I suggest: you call me if you're female

31) Tulips, character flaws, microchips & track stars: spell tcmt

32) Why won't anyone: agree that no one will?

33) If you spend the night at my house: sleep on the sofa if you're male

34) I'd stop my wedding: from becoming an Abbot and Costello show, if you're adamant about that

35) The world could do without: me. or you, for that matter. Just check in one hundred years from now.

36) I'd rather lick the belly of a roach than: I dunno... I've never been hard-up enough to look at a roach's belly

37) My favorite is: British spelling

38) Paper clips are more useful than: kites. How do I know why? That wasn't the question.

40) And by the way: you might buy the way but you still wouldn't own me

41) The last time I was drunk: I was handsome and irresistible

42) My grandmother always: lives in heaven

Okay so you're tagged. I'll make it specific:
Neeta, you're tagged.
Irfat, if you have a blog, you're tagged. If you don't have a blog, get one.
Farah, you're tagged. Get yourself a blog.

Deepak