Project Aristotle: The Financials

In response to the comment from Anonymous to my previous post, here are the financials for Project Aristotle:
(Note: All financials are in Rupees and relate to Pune, India. They will have to be extrapolated for other cities / countries)

Outflows:

Per School:

Production:
Rs. 32,400 x 4 = Rs. 129,600/-

Workshops / Rehearsals:
Rs. 250 x 480 = Rs. 120,000/-

Books:
Rs. 70 x 1000 (students) x 4 (productions) = Rs. 280,000/-

Working Capital Overheads (Office, staff, etc.):
15% of Production+Workshops+Books = Rs. 79,440/-

Total Per School: Rs. 609,040.00

No. of Schools: 60

Grand Total: Rs. 36,542,400.00

Inflow:

Per School:

Rs. 2,500 x 750 (students) = Rs. 1,875,000.00

Grand Total:
Rs. 1,875,000 x 60 (schools) = Rs. 112,500,000.00


Market- size, segments,positioning, targeting

No. of Students per school:

From classes 5 to 9:
5 (classes) x 3 (divisions) x 50 (students per division) = 750

No. of Schools:
60

Total Market Size: 45,000 students

Resource requirement-land,labor,capital

Premises:

All that is needed is a central co-ordinating office, either on rent or bought out. Workshops / Rehearsals are to be conducted at the school premises. Performances are to be conducted in the School Hall.

Labour:

Approximately 5 co-ordinating staff to handle marketing and scheduling of workshops / productions.

Workshops to be conducted by educated housewives who shall be trained in the methods of teaching drama and conducting rehearsals. They are to be paid Rs. 250/- per workshop they conduct.

4% of projected revenue per annum to be used for advertising.

Growth Plan

The plan is scalable from 1 to 60. 1 school joining the project pays for itself in the first year. More schools will entail advertising and marketing, which may be leveraged from earnings from the first school.

Core and Peripheral Services

The Core Service is the development of the reading habit in the child. Peripheral services include training in theatre for the child and additional sources of revenue for the school (in terms of musicals and other open productions staged by the school with its trained students).

Pricing

Rs. 2,500/- (approximately $50) per child per year.

Core Ideology

The Core Ideology is to make reading a non-intrusive part of a child’s fun activities, thus using its own motivations to empower it to develop itself.

Deepak

Business Idea #0003: Project Aristotle – Reading Through Theatre

Project Aristotle is a business idea that’s “packed and ready to go”. I’ve analysed it extensively and even generated the financial projections and capital requirements. The only reason I haven’t put it into operation is I don’t have the capital to even form the NGO (Non-Governmental Organisation) that would be the first step in making it live.

So I’m offering it here for anyone to take up.

The Aim:

The aim of the project is to harness the power of theatre to improve the reading habits of children.

The Philosophy:

We all know that children love to perform. When I was a Resource Person with the NIE (Newspaper In Education) programme of the Times of India, Pune, my Theatre Workshops were the most popular because they got the children to actually perform headlines and stories from the newspaper.

Project Aristotle works with the children, taking advantage of their love of performing to get them to read.

The Means:

Project Aristotle begins with the creation of a play script based on a classic. The children then perform the play, thus automatically becoming involved in the story and learning more about classical literature.

The Advantages:

Children become interested in Classical Literature. When a child is exposed to even abridged versions of a book, she is more likely to pick up the original version later in life.

Children begin to form a personal library of great literature.

Project Aristotle is not an IMPOSED exhortation to read. Instead, it works with the child’s natural desire to perform to put it into “Reading mode.” Reading is merely a step in the performance process.

Have fun with Project Aristotle.

Deepak

55 Word Fiction

There's a relatively unknown - but quickly losing that status - form of fiction going around. It's called 55 word fiction. For an explanation of what it is and isn't, check the San Luis Obispo competition. There's even a blog of 55 word stories by Indian authors.

Here's my first 55 word fiction story:

Blogging about an Ex-Girlfriend

Blogger:

So, well, chick called me up and turned out she was an ex.

I, like, met her and she's still cute.

Same button nose, same expressive eyes, like.

And, like, she's lonely.

I'd tell you more but like,
I told her to get her husband to teach her to use the Internet, not me.

Deepak

Preach it loud, bruddah!

Way cool!

I discovered this site called the Dialectizer and it converts text on websites into dialects like Cockney, Hillbilly, Jive, etc.

Here's what my Christmas post becomes in Jive:

Christmas be comin'! Preach it loud, bruddah!! Preach it loud, bruddah!

And dere gots'ta be some funny sto'y about it, right?

Way back when ah' wuz some teenaga' and belonged t'a ya'd group, so's dun did mah' sister, berry berry straightlaced back den. 'S coo', bro.

As dudes is wont t'do, we had snatchn t'pullin' each oder's legs (de males in de group dat is, not mah' sista' and I) and one uh de ways wuz t'"rescribble" Christmas Carols. And so's we came down wid "Deck de Crib wid Balls uh Ollie" in honour of, who else? Ollie! Right on!

Come Christmas Eve and sis wuz deco'atin' de crib, hummin' and lightly rappin' Christmas Carols. In de mood, duzn't ya' know?

Pops stopped ha' at one point and ax'ed, "Er. Ah be baaad..... plum whut is you rappin'?"

"Deck de Crib wid.... OH MY GOD! Preach it loud, bruddah!"

Deepak

1 Comments, dig dis:

Irfat Arif said...

Dis be hilarious! Right on!

Women are hard to please

Don't think so?

Then check this post by this blogger called Kat:

Walmart Husband's - Not news or politics related, just a funny

No, I'm not copping out of my assumed role of entertainer. I'm just lazy.

Deepak

Seduction

She: What's the price of admission?

I: To what?

She: Your next play

I: One hair off your head

She: That's it?

I: Not quite... it has to be on my pillow

Christmas is coming!!!!

And there has to be a funny story about it, right?

Way back when I was a teenager and belonged to a youth group, so did my sister, berry berry straightlaced back then.

As guys are wont to do, we had taken to pulling each other's legs (the males in the group that is, not my sister and I) and one of the ways was to "rewrite" Christmas Carols. And so we came up with "Deck the House with Balls of Ollie" in honour of, who else? Ollie!

Come Christmas Eve and sis was decorating the home, humming and lightly singing Christmas Carols. In the mood, don't you know?

Dad stopped her at one point and asked, "Er... just what are you singing?"

"Deck the House with.... OH MY GOD!!"

Deepak

Prinking at the Dicnic

We’d convinced the Principal to let us go on an overnight picnic. In the hundred-year-old existence of the junior college and, to our juvenile minds, the equally centurion existence of the principal, that had never happened. Good grief! Boys and girls – 17 to 20 year-olds at that – together overnight! The maternity hospitals would be overflowing nine months down the line!

So there were a lot of compromises on both sides. All three sides, if you considered the girls’ viewpoint, or rather, the viewpoint of their mothers.

No booze, no staying up past midnight and girls and boys to stay strictly separate during the night.

It never occurred to venerable principal that what could be done at night under the influence of liquor could very well be done by day cold sober. Teenagers don’t need artificial stimulants like darkness and alcohol.

Anyway, d-day dawned and we, mostly 17-year-olds and a couple of 21 year-olds (what can I say? Some guys made failure a habit) gathered in front of the school.

As was expected, a bag-and-body search was conducted. One quart of rum and three cigarettes were found and confiscated. Nitin, all of 18 and therefore considered an oldie by us mostly-17-year-olds, was found to be in possession of a 250 ml. bottle of Dettol, which, he claimed, was in case of cuts and bruises when the time came to hike. His Dettol was returned, unmolested, to his bag.

Joss added a new word to the lexicon of Firdosh by saying, “Man, the Universe is really expandin’ tonight.”

Joss was our resident junkie, so it was no wonder he thought it was still night. Firdosh just naturally latched on to any new word he heard and “expandin’” was it.

The journey to the ramshackle condemned building we’d wheedled from a local potentate with property at various places was quite uneventful, if you ignore the episode of the girl who was pulled by her ear from my lap and the clip on Firdosh’s ear when he told the teacher she was expandin’.

So we reached our destination.

The place was a ghoul’s delight. The top floor had completely given way in a couple of places, so Nitin, Joss, Firdosh and I naturally took first dibs on it. The top floor was ours.

The ground floor was divided into two sections, one – the one with the bathroom – for the girls and the other for the boys.

The top-floorers moved on up and, after ascertaining, to our disappointment, that the missing floor tiles did not give a view of the girls’ section, repaired to the only room there and bemoaned our lack of alcohol.

Whereupon Nitin rummaged in his bag and produced his bottle of Dettol.

"C‘mon, guys," he said, “time to party. First class rum in a Dettol bottle.”

I shall not bore you, dear reader, with details of how that 250 ml. of rum then led to midnight attempts to frighten the girls – with Nitin clumping along in his military boots and Firdosh yelling, “Joss, stop expandin’” and self attempting to shush the three – self having had sufficient access to Pater’s hoard of rum to be able to absorb larger quantities of it than the others.

Suffice to say we were caught, hauled out to the courtyard for punishment and set to be made an example of.

“You boys have been prinking at the dicnic,” began the teacher.

She was never to complete the sentence. The roars of laughter just wouldn’t let her.

Deepak
PS: The above story is completely fictional. If you believe that, I have a couple of bridges you might like to buy. :-)
DM

Lobsang and the Inspector*

* This is the opening scene of "The Patriarch", my second murder mystery.

Lobsang and the Inspector

(The tourist camp at Nubra Valley, near Leh. It is evening. The GUIDE is settling things, tending to the campfire (still unlit), etc. The side of a tent can be seen back, the start of a tent Stage R. Enter INSPECTOR)

INSPECTOR
Hello

GUIDE
Good Evening Sir!
(enthusiastically)
Welcome to Nubra Valley! (by rote) The Nubra Valley lies north of Leh and is accessible over the Khardung La, one of the highest motorable roads in the world. The Nubra Valley was on the caravan route from Leh to Kashgar via the Sasir and Karakoram passes

INSPECTOR
(bewlildered)
Why are you telling me all this?

GUIDE
Is being necessary. Tourist Department say all to be told about Nubra Valley when arriving. I be Lobsang. I be your guide

INSPECTOR
Oh, hello Lobsang, I’m –

GUIDE
Please to waiting
(takes out a sheet of paper, reads)
Is you being Mr. Murijmal Gurnani, male, 62 years of age?

INSPECTOR
What? No, I’m –

GUIDE
Please to waiting. Is you being, Lalkisen Gurnani, male, 32 years of age?

INSPECTOR
No, I’m –

GUIDE
Please to waiting. Is you being –

INSPECTOR
(Interrupting)
If you don’t stop that I’ll hang you upside down from that tent there

GUIDE
Please. Is being how Tourist Department say –

INSPECTOR
Hang the Tourist Department too! Won’t it be faster if I tell you who I am?
(GUIDE opens his mouth to speak, then looks at INSPECTOR and nods meekly)
Good. I’m Inspector Gurinder Bajwa

GUIDE
(Looks in the list)
Inspector Gurinder Bajwa, male, 134 years of age?

INSPECTOR
Are you a dimwit or something? I’m 34, not 134

GUIDE
Is being say 134 in list

INSPECTOR
Hang your list! Now where can I sit? My back is aching from that horse ride

GUIDE
Is being you want massage?

INSPECTOR
If you touch me I’ll tie you into a knot and make a Tibetan wind chime out of you. Now, where can I sit?

GUIDE
(Indicates the chairs)
You be sitting here. You seeing other tourists on road?

INSPECTOR
(Sitting down)
They’re on their way
(Stretches)
Oh man, that was some journey

(Enter Dr. PRIYA GUPTA. She is around 24)

PRIYA
Hello

GUIDE
Good Evening Madam!
(enthusiastically)
Welcome to Nubra Valley!
(by rote)
The Nubra Valley lies north of Leh and is accessible over the Khardung La, one of the highest motorable roads in the world. The Nubra Valley was on the caravan route from Leh to Kashgar via the Sasir and Karakoram passes

PRIYA
What?

GUIDE
Welcome to Nubra Valley! The Nubra Valley lies north of Leh –

INSPECTOR
Oh God!

GUIDE
(pressing on)
north of Leh and is accessible

INSPECTOR
Will you stop that?

GUIDE
(determinedly)
… is accessible over the Khardung La, one of the
(sees INSPECTOR rise and finishes at top speed)
one of the highest motorable roads in the world. The Nubra Valley was on the caravan route from Leh to Kashgar via the Sasir and Karakoram passes

PRIYA
Why are you telling me all this? It’s all there in the brochure!

GUIDE
Is being necessary. Tourist Department say so.
(Takes out his list again)
Is you being –

INSPECTOR
Oh God! Not again!
(Snatches the list from GUIDE and looks at it, then at PRIYA)
You must be Dr. Priya Gupta

PRIYA
That’s right

INSPECTOR
(Handing the list back to the GUIDE with his finger at one spot on the list)
Here it is. Dr. Priya Gupta. Got it?

GUIDE
But Tourist Department say –

INSPECTOR
I’m closer to you than the Tourist Department is right now

GUIDE
Okay
(to PRIYA)
Please to be sitting. I waiting for others and then taking all bags to tents

PRIYA
(sits on the other chair)
Whew!

INSPECTOR
Whew is right… I wonder where the Tourist Department manufactures them!

END

Funny Stuff

Okay, now that all three of my fans have voted and the results show that two out of three want more funny stuff, here's the funny stuff:

Brain Candy
Based on an email that’s doing the rounds
(At rise, Spot slightly off centre STAGE R, on a teller’s booth facing front. PATRICIA is sitting behind the glass, apparently counting notes. STAGE L is in darkness. Enter KERMIT, R, in full frog costume. He strolls nonchalantly to the booth and raps smartly on the glass. PATRICIA looks up, slightly startled)

KERMIT
Excuse me, Miss…?

PATRICIA
Patricia… Patricia Whack. How may I help you sir?

KERMIT
How do you do, Miss Whack? I need a loan

PATRICIA
I see… how much and for what purpose, sir?

KERMIT
I need 30 thousand dollars (beat) to go on vacation

PATRICIA
(Startled)
Thirty thou – er… do you have any ID, sir?

KERMIT
No, but my name’s Jagger, Kermit Jagger. I’m Mick’s tadpole

PATRICIA
Mick’s…? Er… but… I need some ID or collateral, sir,

KERMIT
(Fumbles in his pocket and pulls out a small pink elephant. Hands it to Patricia)
Here, this should do it. Don’t worry, the manager knows me
(beams at PATRICIA)

PATRICIA
(Standing up, uncertainly)
Er… I don’t know… do you mind if I check with the manager?

KERMIT
Of course not. Go ahead, please, I’m sure you’ll find everything’s fine, just fine

(PATRICIA starts to go STAGE L as the spot R fades down and spot L fades up to reveal the MANAGER in profile, behind a desk facing STAGE R. PATRICIA comes into the spot. Manager looks up)

MANAGER
Yes, Patty?

PATRICIA
Er… sir… there’s a f-f-frog who’s walked in asking for a loan

MANAGER
(Unperturbed)
I see… how much? And his name?

PATRICIA
He – he says his name is Kermit Jagger. He wants Thirty (gulps) Thirty Thousand Dollars, sir… and all he has for collateral is this
(flourishes the pink elephant)

MANAGER Hm… I see…

PATRICIA
I mean… sir… what IS this?
(almost hysterical)

MANAGER
It's a knick-knack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone

BLACKOUT

I have a poll!

What do YOU want? More Audio pieces More funny stuff More about me (DM) More political stuff More educational stuff More, dunno, do something different! More insulting stuff More memes and tags and fun quizzes stuff View Results Make your own poll

Meme, me me me

Another Meme. I'll try to be un-nasty with this one. Here goes:

1) My mother once: threatened to have me committed to a mental asylum

2) Never in my life: have I said "never"

3) When I was five: I proved to my father that if he didn't step up, I'd do things on my own. He was late in picking me up from school, so I simply walked back home.

4) High School was/is: A good way to strengthen my abs and work on innovative Judo throws. What can I say? I was in a tough school.

5) I will never forget: Neeta. Which Neeta? Ah, that shall remain a secret :-)

6) I once met: Someone I met again. C'mon, what kind of question is this? I once met S.P. Hinduja. Does that make any sense to anyone who has no clue who S. P. Hinduja is? (I shook his hand too)

7) There's this person I know who: used to slit the skin of her wrists and forearms. She was looking for intimacy, poor thing, and used the slit technique to get sex. She never could figure out that the two can be mutually exclusive.

8) Once, at a bar: I made a prostitute cry by singing her favourite song.

9) By noon I'm usually: awake

10) Last night I: realised I have no concept of "night", just awake and asleep

11) If I only had: sense

12) Next time I go to church/temple: I'll sing in the choir and still find a way to show off

13) Terri Schiavo: died. so will I. and you

14) I like: what most people don't like. and some things they like.

15) When I turn my head left, I see: stars. I have arthritis

16) When I turn my head right, I see: look at my answer to #15 and save me the pain of turning my head, will ya?

17) You know I'm lying when: You kidding? I'm an actor. You'll never know when I'm lying and when I'm truthing

18) In grade school: I presume there are pupils. Stop tagging me with US-centric memes

19) If I was a character written by Shakespeare: I'd probably tell him he got the grammar wrong. "If I WERE a character..."

20) By this time next year I: shall have many more blog posts

21) A better name for me would be: one that hasn't yet been pronounced

22) I have a hard time understanding: the word "hard"

23) If I ever go back to school I'll: whack those blighters who are trying to make life difficult for me. I passed out from a very tough school. It's still a very tough school.

24) You know I like you if: you exist. and your surname isn't jpg

25) If I won an award, the first person/ people I'd thank would be: You have to THANK people if YOU win?

26) I hope that: You haven't stopped reading by now. I'm a glutton for people reading what I write

27) Take my advice: ignore any advice I give

28) My ideal breakfast is: lunch

29) A song I love, but do not have is: a song I'd love to have

30) If you visit my hometown, I suggest: you call me if you're female

31) Tulips, character flaws, microchips & track stars: spell tcmt

32) Why won't anyone: agree that no one will?

33) If you spend the night at my house: sleep on the sofa if you're male

34) I'd stop my wedding: from becoming an Abbot and Costello show, if you're adamant about that

35) The world could do without: me. or you, for that matter. Just check in one hundred years from now.

36) I'd rather lick the belly of a roach than: I dunno... I've never been hard-up enough to look at a roach's belly

37) My favorite is: British spelling

38) Paper clips are more useful than: kites. How do I know why? That wasn't the question.

40) And by the way: you might buy the way but you still wouldn't own me

41) The last time I was drunk: I was handsome and irresistible

42) My grandmother always: lives in heaven

Okay so you're tagged. I'll make it specific:
Neeta, you're tagged.
Irfat, if you have a blog, you're tagged. If you don't have a blog, get one.
Farah, you're tagged. Get yourself a blog.

Deepak

The debt trap

So, it happened once again.

I was ostensibly conned into providing my services for free, on the promise that my previous bills would be paid.

Didn't happen, of course. A couple of weeks down the line, I'll get a call from the "client" (who will studiously avoid my calls in the mean time) to tell me some new personal / financial / educational / whatever story.

The advantage to me in this whole sorry scenario is, I get tons of material for my plays and short stories.

Deepak